Bias bias bias.

* This is going to be a pointless post. I'm venting all my anger and feelings here. You don't have to stay here. Leave.

I am stepping down soon. I won't be with the band, and even though I still am part of it, but it's totally different from being WITH the band.

We worked hard, we've got a gold together. 
I should be feeling proud, and leave with no regrets.

And yet.

I still feel the biasness that I got from the beginning from the teachers. Yes, teacher. I don't really care if any of the teachers read this page or whatsoever. The biasness that you emit is obvious, and if you think it's you, then it's you.

Everyone is bias. But this, is really too much.

Whenever I text this particular teacher, he/she will NEVER replies. I never text him/her nonsensical stuff. I asked important questions that I need answer immediately, and I even told him/her that "I need a reply ASAP, thankyou!" and yet I never gotten a reply. Oh yes I did, if I can estimate and exaggerate, he/she only replied to my messages like 2/10. Including emails. 

I don't think I am impolite in any of my message. In fact I was formal. I never twitted, or whatsoever. So why am I getting this treatment? Apparently I'm not the only bm that receive this kind of treatment from him/her. Except for one particular person. Oh I don't need to mention him/her either. You think it's you, then it's you. Be guilty.

Do you even realised what did you just do? It's not 'not replying to your messages duh' so simple. You just let a person who tried her best to manage the band, who spent time thinking how to improve the band and put in her utmost effort to keep the band up and try to resolve conflict in the band, thinking that she has DONE NOTHING to receive your acknowledgement. You made her feel that all her effort that she have ALSO PUT IN are wasted, are pointless and NOTHING to you. You made her feel like she DESERVES no rights to know what is happening in the band that she cares about so much. 

And she's not the only 'victim'. 

Don't get me wrong. I am not saying that I did all of what I did for the band just to get acknowledgement from the teachers and MAKE THEM THINK that HEY LOOK I FRIGGING DID EVERYTHING AND I'M SUCH A TEACHER'S PET. I did them out of my own accord, and I just want the band to be stable, and that everyone would love being in a band as much as I do. But what he/she makes me feel now, is that I am just a playful and irresponsible person that did nothing for the band, and only knows how to play, joke and make a fool out of herself. 

Thing is, you know nothing. Because you've never replied to any of my messages. You've never trusted me. You have never given me a chance to prove myself to you. 

Oh yeah, since I'm here venting out my anger, let me also include that I despise people who TAKES PEOPLE'S CREDITS. You didn't do it, means you didn't do it. Your actions makes you seems like you want people to like you, desperately. Yes, everyone wants to be liked and all by people, but isn't it a bit too overboard? Power hungry. 

Okay. Enough of this rubbish. I'm feeling so much better. Blogger is the only place that I can freely express my feelings. Because nobody will care, and nobody listens as attentively as blogger does. If you have any problems with what I am posting, then just get out, and leave it. Please let me remind you that THIS is MY blog, and I AM allowed to post my feelings here BECAUSE this is what BLOGS are for. I don't see why you have to come to my blog, read my post, and tell me that I shouldn't post this and that. Since you don't like it that much, LEAVE. 

I'm sorry I'm being such a bitch here. I never got so pissed at any teachers for a long long time, and yet this is happening again. I just need someone to talk to and since I'm cursed to have no close friends for the rest of my life, this is the only place I can 'talk' to. 

I am not trying to attract attention, neither do I want to point fingers at others. I know whatever I say might in turn be pointed towards me, I am not perfect, and I know I do not have the rights to comment on other people's character. But I really cannot stand this sort of biasness and character that exist in this world. 

Really sick of this place. Sometimes I wish I get into an accident and die. 

xxxxx: "judgemental fucker"


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